


Winter Chaos

by TabiKittyKat



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, Fem! Jack, here ya go, lol, someone wanted a team lads christmas fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 05:35:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16758961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TabiKittyKat/pseuds/TabiKittyKat
Summary: When Ryan and the Lads get together for some winter fun, Los Santos better beware.





	Winter Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> Got the challenge to use two prompts from this list on Tumblr:  
> http://cherryraindrops.tumblr.com/post/180462468434/festive-prompt-list
> 
> #33: “One normal Christmas, that’s all I wanted”  
> #34: “I’m sure what ever threat is out there can wait until after Christmas dinner”

The Lads were told by Geoff and Jack to be on the DL for a couple weeks. Due to some chaos caused by the crew earlier, the Los Santos police were on the hunt, looking for them. So, they couldn't be loud and crazy with their antics.

But they couldn't sit still. They're 3 of the most rowdiest bois in the crime business and they couldn't be tamed. So, on this Christmas day, with snow falling silently from the sky and sticking to the ground below, the Lads got their snow coats and boots and tried to sneak out of the penthouse for some fun.

That is, until they heard someone clear their throat from behind them.

"And where do you think you're going?"

The three heads turned to find the Vagabond, mask and all, standing behind them, arms folded.

"Uh...h-hey, Ryan." Jeremy waved to his Battle Buddy, hoping to make him understand what was going on. "We were just going out to play in the snow. No big deal, buddy. Just three boys going out to throw snow at each other." He chuckled nervously.

"Mm-hmm." He walked closer to them and looked at Team Nice Dynamite, Gavin the more nervous of the two. His legs were shaking in his newly stolen winter boots. "Is this true?"

"Of course it is, Ryan! We're sick of being cooped up in the penthouse with nothing to do! We need to do something or we're gonna lose our fucking minds! Don't tell us you don't feel the same way, too. And you're the one that's been officially placed on a murder break!" Michael gestured to the mysterious masked man. 

"Come join us, Rye-Bread! It'll be fun!" Gavin smiled, trying to mask his fear.

"...and what fun would I have playing with you guys in the snow? It's cold and wet and I can't drink my Diet Coke. Sounds like a miserable time to me." 

"You're such a buzzkill! God damn it. Just come with us and see. We know how to have fun in the snow! And no one will be the wiser. Unless you tell on us, of course. Which you won't do, because you're the coolest one out of the Gents." Michael smirked. 

Jeremy gave Ryan a hug. "Come on, pal. We're gonna have a snowball fight, too. Don't you want to team up to kick their asses?"

"Well, I-"

"Please, Ryan?? It won't be as much fun without you..." Gavin joined the hug. Michael shrugged and also joined the Team Lads hug of cuteness and doom. And this was bad for Ryan, because he couldn't resist this, no matter how hard he tried.

The most feared man of Los Santos sighed and struggled to take off his mask, revealing no face paint, but a tired face longing to do something other than sit on the couch and drinking Diet Coke all day. 

"Well, it IS Christmas. Time to be nice and all that shit. I guess we can have a little fun." Ryan smiled lightly.

"You're the best, Ryan!" Jeremy smiled. 

Michael slowly opened the front door and the Christmas Masterminds snuck out of the house for some Christmas, snowy fun.

They took the car up some hills away from the city and Jeremy immediately jumped out of the car with his Rimmy Tim colored sled.

"I will race someone down this hill. Let's GO!" he exclaimed.

Gavin face-palmed at the sight of the sled. "Can't we just blow the damn thing up? You've ruined it, Jeremy!"

"You just don't appreciate art!" Jeremy flipped him off. "Come sit in front, Ryan. Michael can push us down! I wanna see how fast we can go!"

Ryan shrugged and did as Jeremy asked. Gavin took out his camera and was ready to film whatever happened next. He also made sure to turn the slo-mo on, just in case. 

Michael backed up a few steps and took a deep breath. "Here we go! Brace yourselves!" He got a running start and pushed the Battle Buddies down. They cheered and hollered as the sled quickly took them down the hill, but they took a sharp turn and ended up flipping the sled over and with that, falling in the snow themselves.

Jeremy laughed as he stood up after the fall. "That was fun, huh Ryan?" 

Ryan chuckled and also stood up, brushing some snow off his jacket. "I will admit that was pretty cool, Lil J." 

"Hell yeah! That's what I'm talking about, Ryan! What should we do now?" Jeremy asked, walking back up the hill with Ryan. Gavin was showing Michael the slo-mo footage he caught on his camera.

"Damn dude! You're so good with cameras! That crash looks beautiful!" Michael laughs.

"Thanks, Micoo boi!" Gavvy smiled with pride. 

Ryan paused to think for a moment and then gasped. "I've got an idea of something fun we can do. But first, we gotta build a snowman." 

"All right. It's fucking Elsa over here." Michael rolled his eyes, but chuckled as he started to make a big snowball. 

"Is Frozen one of those movies I should really see?" Jeremy asked, scratching his bald head in confusion.

"Yes/No," the other three said, Michael saying no and Love and Stuff saying yes. They talked about all the pros and cons of the movie, and off-key singing "Let It Go" while building the snowman. Soon, they had a pretty round and strong snowman, with Ryan's cap on top its head and the usual sticks for arms and rocks for eyes and mouth.

"All right. We've built the damn thing and had the most intense conversation about a Disney movie ever. Lindsay would be proud. What do we do with the damn thing now?" Michael asked.

Ryan smirked. "We kill it."

"Whoa! Murder break, Haywood!" Jeremy chuckled.

"Fuck you. It's snow. Besides, the sun is out a little bit. It's already dead. We're just, uh, speeding up the process. With knives." Ryan went to the car and took out his knife cup filled with many knives from the car's front cup holder.

Michael cackled while Gavin just shook his head. "Really, Ryan? Bloody hell."

"Who wants first try?" Ryan smiled. "There's almost 30 of these, so we get about 10 chances each to teach Frosty a lesson about coming to life and running through villages with broomsticks." He walks closer to the snowman, brandishing a knife. "Who do you work for, Frosty? You with the big, fat man in red, huh? Tell us your secrets, Frosty, or you're gonna get shanked."

"We lock up the interrogation room, and this is what happens to him? Jesus Christ." Michael mutters to Gavin.

Ryan paces around the snowman, the later not knowing of its fate. "The silent type, huh? Well, we have ways to deal with you." Ryan takes a couple steps back, aims his throwing knife and throws it at Frosty. It lands right in the stomach. "Take that, you demon from hell!" 

"Holy shit! Ryan, you're an animal!" Gavin gasped. 

"That looks so cool. I wanna try!" Michael jumped up eagerly. Ryan gladly handed Mogar the knife and watched and he clipped the side of his face, knocking some face and mouth off. "Hell yeah!"

"My turn!" Jeremy pushed Michael aside and took his place at the aiming spot. Jeremy threw his knife and it landed on Frosty's forehead, knocking off Ryan's cap.

"Thank goodness. My head was getting cold." Ryan sighed with relief, and dusting his cap off before putting it on backwards. 

"Give it a try, Gavvy." Michael encouraged his boi.

Gavin just shook his head. "I'm not good at throwing knives. I'll just mess it up."

"Oh, come on, Gavin. It's partially your fault that I'm out here in the first place. The least you could do is participate." 

Gavin reluctantly sighed and took a throwing knife from the cup. He shrugged his shoulders and threw the knife at Frosty...

...which hit him directly between the eyes and somehow caused all of Frosty to explode in a million bits of snow.

"That was awesome!" Michael laughed. "Who the fuck did that?? Brilliant!" 

"What the hell?!" Gavin jumped back in fright.

Ryan could hear the sound of wheezing coming from next to him. Of course, it was Jeremy laughing while holding his phone, which was set to a detonator app.

"Jeremy Dooley, explain yourself." Ryan asked.

"While you guys were making the other snowballs, I set an explosive in the one I've made and I've been waiting to set it to explode at the right time. That was perfect timing!" Jeremy laughed.

"I should've known you guys would be here!"

The 4 heard the engine of a snowmobile revving close by to them. The driver took off their helmet to reveal an exhausted Jack with a stern look on her face. "What the hell are you guys doing? One normal Christmas, that’s all I wanted and you guys are blowing up snowmen. You're supposed to be laying low!"

"It was Ryan's idea!" Gavin was quick to blame.

"Hey! Fuck you, man. I just wanted to throw knives at him!"

"Jesus Christ..." Jack muttered. Even on Christmas, she thought Ryan was creepy.

"We're sorry, Jack." Jeremy sighed and looked at the second in command of the crew with an expression of guilt. "We just wanted to have fun because we hated being stuck inside all the time. I know we have to hide, but being confined doesn't help. Plus, it's Christmas and there's so much to do around this time of year that we would've missed!" 

Jack sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "I understand, boys. Maybe next time, run it through Geoff and myself instead of sneaking out the penthouse. And how did you Lads get Ryan to join you?"

Ryan shuffled his feet and looked down at them. "...they hugged me." 

Jeremy and Michael burst out laughing while Gavin just gave Ryan a hug. "You love us, Rye-Bread!" 

Jack chuckled. "Well, did you at least get a picture of the snowman before you blew it up?" 

"I sure did! We took selfies with it! And even did the blep face in one picture." Gavin held up his camera. 

Jack walked around and looked at the wreckage of where Frosty once stood. "Wow. He's long gone now. What made you decide to torture a snowman so much?"

Michael pointed at Ryan. "Do you have to fucking ask, Jack? Who else would interrogate a snowman?" 

Ryan shrugged bashfully. "It was evil. A danger to society."

"I could say the same for you, Vagabond." Jack rolled her eyes. "Look, I’m sure what ever threat is out there can wait until after Christmas dinner. And it's time to eat now. So let's get your freezing asses back to the house for dinner and then we can open presents!" 

"Yay!!" The Lads cheered and quickly gathered their things and got in the car. Jack just turned to Ryan. 

"You are so building a snowman for me to throw stuff at later. I have some pent up frustrations to get out." 

Ryan chuckled and opened the driver's door to the fahc car. "You don't tell Geoff about this and it's a deal."

"You drive a hard bargain, Haywood. But deal!" 

And so, the group headed back to the penthouse to celebrate Christmas and the holiday season with a big meal, video games and Geoff; who eventually found out about the boy's escapades through the snow. 

But that can wait until after Christmas.


End file.
